What It Took for My Husband and I to Go from Nothing to Enough to Retire

Like millions of Americans, my husband and I have experienced all kinds of money-sucking adventures, including job loss, two failed start-ups, serious illness, and multiple moves around the globe. About the time we hit middle age, we realized just how far behind we were in retirement savings.

Rather than fall into a pit of despair (which truly was tempting), we got serious. Before you read any further, though, I want you to know that every move we made was deliberate and, frankly, not always fun. We didn't do anything that you can't adapt to your own situation.

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The boring stuff

Any time things got tough, it was our 401(k) that took the hit. There were years when we just stopped contributing money so we could pay off debt or rebuild our emergency fund.

While there are negative aspects to moving 24 times over the span of a marriage, it served us well in this case. Soon after becoming serious about saving, we moved from the West Coast to the Midwest, a region with a lower cost of living. There, we learned to live below our means. It was also then that retirement savings took the top spot in our monthly budget.

An upside-down budget

For decades, we'd budgeted in the same way. Bills came first, and once those were paid and all "surprise" expenses were covered, we'd put something away for retirement. While this budgeting method may work for some, it didn't work for us.

Our new budget turned how we pay bills on its head. The first money from our checks each month goes toward financing our future -- both our retirement account and our savings. What's left over is how much we have available to spend.

The fact that our contributions are tax-deferred -- meaning we don't have to pay taxes on the funds until we withdraw them in retirement -- reduces our overall tax bill, which helps ease the sting of smaller paychecks.

The tough reality

It was more than turning our budget upside down that changed. Rather than making regular car payments as we had for decades, we didn't replace our cars when they were paid off. If we needed something for the house, I would note the manufacturer and look for it on a discount site.

Home repairs were prioritized so they didn't cost us more down the road. Our "big" vacations became visiting family or friends in another state. We routinely examined our budget to see what was slipping through and costing us money. Spoiler alert: It was typically the amount of money we spent dining out and junk we could live without.

Your version may look different

If you're a single parent or living paycheck to paycheck, building a retirement fund may seem impossible. As someone who's been there, I recommend you treat yourself kindly. We live in an expensive world, and you're not the only one who sometimes struggles.

Give the "upside-down" budget a try, even if you can only save $25 each month. Challenge yourself to think up ways to increase that contribution by a little each month. It may be trimming expenses or starting a side hustle you truly enjoy. If you work for an employer that offers to match a portion of your retirement contributions, work up to contributing at least that much.

Every time I look at our retirement account, I don't question whether our thriftiness has been worth it. We won't be wealthy, but we've worked long enough and saved enough to retire comfortably -- and that was the entire goal of turning our budget (and life) upside-down.

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